Get out of town and go touch some real grass.

Bet you there's a landmine waiting for a lucky someone at the end of this.

Mexican food, never again.

And berries too people, berries too!

The groundskeeper been slacking off at work, vegetation has gotten so dense around here the trees have begun to speak Vietnamese.

If I won't make Mayor of LS I think I might just take up a career as a demolition expert, the results would be the same.

So apparently LS got a vampire problem? And they're hanging around Rockford Plaza tunnels...
Seriously, I've had to deal with a lot of weird shit in LS, but that takes the prize.
Guessing the comic book store is their lair...

Hello, citizens of Los Santos,

I am thrilled to officially announce my candidacy for the role of Mayor. The decision to run was, well, you know, something that's been on my mind for a bit. I've been doing some thinking in between, let's say, browsing online and watching entertaining cat videos. You know how it goes, right?

Throughout this process, I've had some insightful conversations with various individuals on various boards and Discord channels, and I've also been collaborating with a really smart AI friend who, truth be told, helped me put together this speech. They've got a knack for the whole writing thing, much better than me, I must admit.

Our city, well, it's got its share of things happening. I've been perusing articles, headlines, and such. It's clear that there are certain areas that need addressing. Take those potholes on the streets, for instance. Bumpy rides are never fun, so fixing those is definitely a goal. And let's not forget about the economy. That needs a boost too, as I've come to understand.

In my discussions with knowledgeable folks, it's become clear that education and healthcare matter greatly. It's a big deal and something we should focus on. I believe that we have to, you know, take action. There might be other aspects as well, but that's kind of where I'm at.

But that's not all. I've assembled a team of competent individuals to address these pressing issues. We have former Army Sergeant and Vietnam Veteran Bob, the local conspiracy enthusiast who's convinced that the potholes are actually secret government listening devices - I would listen to him if I were you. Then there's Hans, a friendly German-Argentinian guy I met at the local 24/7. He's confident he can handle our economic revival, despite having no background in economics whatsoever.

And let's not forget our esteemed healthcare advisor, Sally, who's convinced that essential oils and crystal healing can solve any medical problem. Rounding out the team is Jerry, a self-proclaimed education expert who believes that the best way to improve our schools is through cage fighting and paramilitary teachings.

So, there you have it, folks. This is me, your, potential Mayor, with a team of individuals who are, well, unique in their own ways. I'm thankful for my AI friend who's lent their wisdom to this speech. It's been an experience, that's for sure.

I hope you'll consider casting your vote in my direction. Together, let's work towards creating a better city for all of us – humans and the unfairly treated rats alike.

With sincere intentions,

[Enter Your Name Here]
Your Candidate for Mayor of Los Santos